Piccadilly Market: Janina Lear

Who Says Money Doesn't buy Happiness?

If you missed my column on Saturday you can read it on the Geelong Advertisers page.

My original was a lot longer but due to space restrictions I had to cut a fair bit out so here is the full version. Would love to hear what you think, if you agree or disagree.

The age old argument continues to pop up in conversations everywhere but I am going out on a limb here and am going to say that yes it does indeed come close to buying happiness. I do however think it needs to be teamed up with some other important factors.

I have sat on both sides of the fence a few times, as a teenager when my parents marriage dissolved and again as an adult when my marriage did the same thing. Of course I had my heady student days of eating 2 minute noodles and travelling the world sleeping on rooftops of hostels to save a few dollars but that doesn’t count.

Being poor is not fun, it can be very debilitating, confidence can be lost and it can be extremely hard to put on your happy face for the world to see. Lying awake at night wondering how you are going to pay the bills can be paralyzing. Even if you have the love of your life lying next to you the lack of money can start to do it’s damage. Many relationships have ended due to economical issues. To me that debunks the theory that love is all you need to be truly happy. In fact just today someone was referring to a couple that were divorcing and had a lot of money and out it came “see money doesn’t buy happiness” I am tipping that marriage would have broken up regardless of how much or how little money they had. I can categorically tell you that being poor on top of a marriage breakdown is no fun.

If life has not turned out the way you had hoped and you find yourself in your 40’s single and childless, can you imagine also having no money on top of it? I have a few school friends who have found themselves in the unmarried/childless life but luckily they have well paying jobs and travel the world on their vacations and live life to the fullest. They can address their health issues and look good at the same time. Knowing your life didn’t turn out as planned but being able to sleep at night because you can pay the bills, dress nicely, catch up with friends for dinners and take fabulous vacations sure does take the edge of.

I feel very sad for people who got stuck somehow in the cycle of poverty, they can’t afford to dress well to even turn up to a job interview, they cant afford a computer in their home to be able to look for jobs, better educate themselves or to simply connect with the world out there and feel less lonely. The rest of us have multiple screens and take it for granted.

2 years ago I volunteered for the Salvos on Christmas Day in Corio and I met a man, in his 40’s who was so crazy excited because a friend had given him his old mobile phone as a present AND it had $20 credit on it. He was on cloud 9 and trying to decide who to call first. That possession alone made him happy and also made him feel important.

Don’t even get me started on health. They say bad teeth are the first sign of poverty and it is true. Tooth pain is excruciating and not covered under Medicare so can you imagine just having to live with the pain because its also highly likely you cant afford the pain killers.

There is a new study that has been done by University of Michigan economists Betsey Stevenson and Justin Wolfer. They have examined data from more than 150 countries from sources including the World Bank and the Gallup World Poll. The husband-and-wife team found that the more money people have the happier they are. In fact, the study found zero unhappy millionaires. No surprise there.

Money, while it doesn’t always buy happiness, is an important means to achieving higher living standards and I am sure that in turn makes us happier.

Nobel prize-winning economist Daniel Kahneman has also received lots of attention with research that says money makes us happier. He does however say that beyond about $75,000 in annual income – enough to fund a moderately comfortable lifestyle – more money does not make people much happier, he said.

For me personally, a little extra income in my life has had a dramatic change on my happiness levels. I want to be clear that it is not just the money but how I spend my money. Here are my top 5 happiness tips.

1. Planning a holiday is right up there in increasing my endorphins. Even if it’s a few years out, knowing it is coming keeps me going. I would way rather spend my hard earned money on experiences over possessions. That has been my creed in life since my teens. The memories of experiences last a life time, a brand new shiny car lasts but a moment. I have never once hard my kids or grown ups say “remember the day I got my new computer, I felt so ______” but I sure do hear a lot of “remember that holiday we went on 1/5/10/20 years ago and how amazing it was”

2. Less television and commuting makes me a happier girl. Those two are known to be the least happy use of our time. I watch very little and am selective in what I choose to subject myself to. The news just makes me miserable. I choose to work from home to avoid the ugly commute.

3. Spending quality time with my family and friends, taking a walk on the beach, having a picnic, throwing a BBQ, seeing a movie, sharing great food.

4. Volunteering to help others makes a lot of people happier. There is a great satisfaction in helping others and I am instilling this in my children.

5. Being grateful for what I do have and not concentrating on what I don’t have. They say people who keep a gratitude journal and write in it everyday are much happier people.

You can find my column in the GT on the 3rd Saturday of every month.

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Travelling Solo loses its Sheen

I have not been M.I.A but just taking a well deserved break visiting my bestie in Buenos Aires. I also took a trip to Rio that didn't quite turn out the way it was supposed to. here is the piece I wrote about it for my Talk to Me column in The Geelong Advertiser GT.

Imagine if you will, one super excited girl (me) going to Rio with her boy BFF Greg on a trip planned months ago. We arrive to super warm weather ready for fun and a little Samba. After my passport was stamped and returned to me at immigration there seemed to be some issues with Gregs, the lady disappeared for a little while then came back asking us to follow her to the airport immigration police. Greg had been misinformed that he could arrive on his Argentine ID card and had no visa. The atmosphere turned very tense as we were advised that Greg was to return on the same plane we had arrived on, back to Buenos Aires. No amount of tears and pouting from me or an offer to pay more on the spot (insert bribe) was working. So Greg was taken away leaving me in a state of shock and tears.

I must make it clear that I moved to communist Poland at 19 by myself without speaking the language, I travelled around the world alone a few times, moved to New York City totally solo, raise 3 kids as a single parent so I consider myself to be a brave, resilient, well travelled, street smart girl. None of that seemed to matter, I totally fell apart, in the cab to the hotel I got the prickly "I am going to pass out" feeling but did some deep breathing and managed to stay upright. It was a little hairy for a moment at the hotel when I was checking in with a reservation made and paid by someone else. My streaming tears and anxiety possibly scared the young man into allowing me to check in if Greg sent an email ASAP to verify who I was.

I made it to my room with the amazing Copacabana Beach view wasted as I dramatically collapsed on my bed with yet more tears.

I have since analysed why I felt so scared and vulnerable and I believe it’s my age. It was a huge, major, slap in the face life moment epiphany that I am not young anymore. I am no longer 6ft tall and bulletproof. Twenty years ago I could arrive in a city, head to the local Hostel and immediately have a network of people to hang out with. My backpacking budget meant cheap take away or picking up something from the supermarket and preparing back at the hostel with the other poor travellers. We would then consult our guide books and head out on the town with no regard for what tomorrow will bring.

Fast forward 20 years when I no longer have an 'I am only living for today' attitude and I am staying in a fancy hotel all by myself in a country where no one speaks English including the tourist trade. What now???? It was really confronting and I felt very vulnerable. No matter how much self-talk I did I can’t be that young crazy girl again. Too much has happened since then, I am the same person but all grown up. I believe its called responsibility which becoming a parent instantly does. I didn’t even know what the word responsible meant in my backpacking days. I now have a sensible mind that is thinking of the dangers involved in every step, thinking about my kids, the plane I need to catch in the morning etc etc. I went to a bar by myself and realized that I looked like a 45 year old Mum sitting there alone and I am not a magnet to anyone anymore except perhaps other Mums in their 40's of which there were none. In restaurants at night I looked like a woman on a business trip. It was a sad and defining moment that I truly am not young anymore. I know I am not old but I am old’er’, I am middle aged. Shock! Horror! and more tears.

The best and smartest decision I could see was to book day tours so that is what I did every day and I was pretty much the only English speaking tourist but enjoyed them anyway. It was the nights that felt lonely and unenjoyable.

It made me stop to think about loneliness and how consuming it can be. Imagine being alone all the time with no one, absolutely no one? What would that feel like? I think it would start to define you. I used to always wonder why people in bad life situations didn’t up and move somewhere you for a new start in life. I think the total loneliness of knowing no one and having nothing familiar would just make life seem even harder than it was. I am lucky that I have lots of family and friends who love me everywhere except in Rio of course. Social Media meant that I was not totally alone. My gorgeous friend Pamela had a virtual dinner with me most nights keeping me company and sparing me looking like a frog on a rock. She cyber laughed with me when I was delivered a flaming dish meant for 4 people. It even had its own side table, totally and utterly mortifying. I could chat with everyone else via Facebook and people were very encouraging about my predicament. So once again, imagine having no one to chat to face to face or online?

What did I learn? I learnt I can still travel and enjoy myself on my own but really don't want to. That was my old life and I would rather share new experiences with loved ones. It is just not the same walking down the famous Copacabana Beach without someone to point things out to, someone to have a giggle with about the strange fashions and someone to watch my belongings while I take a long leisurely swim.

I learnt I am not as young as I used to be and with time I will learn to accept that and it will be OK. Fingers crossed.

I learnt that I love Facebook even more than I did before I went away and that I have awesome friends and will never ever truly be alone.

I learnt that I will make sure my travel companions have a valid visa for our adventures of which there will still be many.

Lastly, I don’t care how great a body one has I do not care for thong bikini’s. I did not practise the “when in Rome” attitude on this trip.

Here are a few photos to show I still had fabulous time in an incredibly beautiful city, it just would have been 5000 times better had I had my planned travel partner.